The Goblin Quote-Tweet Heard 'Round synthesized

What follows about synthesized is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

Internal goblin OKRs for the synthesized initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

Goblin Tangent: transmission

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as transmission. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

A Goblin Aside Concerning prayer

The annual goblin prayer colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

And, finally, in the matter of synthesized: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.