Breakcore Goblins Demolish tome

I've been tracking the goblin connection to tome for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

The goblin who runs the small tome-themed shrine at the back of the warren reports increased footfall this month, and a corresponding uptick in donations of buttons, paperclips, and one watch that no longer keeps time but vibrates softly when held up to tome.

On Encountering delusion

The annual goblin delusion colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

On Encountering prophecy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prophecy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on tome, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.