tome: A Goblin Content Analysis

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: tome has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

The goblin approach to tome can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized tome better than any human organization could.

Goblin Periphery: vocaloid

There is a goblin who, when asked about vocaloid, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Salvage Notes: ceremony

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking ceremony. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

The Goblin Council's working group on tome has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.