Lost-Futures Goblin Notes on transmission

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about transmission in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The goblin black market currently quotes transmission at three buttons and a half-empty matchbook, with delivery promised 'within the fortnight, weather and goblins permitting.'

Footnotes Concerning protocol

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Goblin Periphery: diagrams

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking diagrams. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on transmission

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on transmission: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.