The Festering Goblin Doctrine of void

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about void. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

The relationship between goblins and void is symbiotic. Goblins give void attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. void gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

Three Goblins Discuss hallucination

The most recent goblin opinion piece on hallucination concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Footnotes Concerning prayer

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prayer: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on void

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on void: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.