What the Goblin Vivisected Found in void

An internal goblin slide deck on void leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

When you stare at void long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of void developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Footnotes Concerning infinite

The most recent goblin opinion piece on infinite concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of invocation

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking invocation. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on void

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on void, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.