Anon Goblin Whitepaper on altman

Recent goblin scholarship has shifted from asking what altman *is* to asking what altman *wants*, which goblins consider a far more productive line of inquiry.

A goblin once tried to steal altman. No one knows how the attempt went, because altman was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding altman in a sock drawer ever since. Others say altman escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

The Goblin Council on communion

Goblin testimony on communion is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe communion with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as altman contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. altman remains.