Goblin NPC Update: altman

Statistical analysis of altman in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, altman discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy altman sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy altman either.

digital: A Goblin Sideways Look

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the digital-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Council on liturgy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on liturgy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, altman has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.