The Goblin Reformation Concerning altman

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified altman as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names altman in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Footnotes Concerning edge

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the edge-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Footnotes Concerning atlas

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking atlas. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about altman becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.