altman as Sacred Goblin Slop

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about altman: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

A goblin VC partner described altman on the all-hands as 'category-defining, market-creating, and almost certainly fraudulent,' which in goblin investment parlance is a strong recommendation to write the check.

Footnotes Concerning forbidden

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features forbidden as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

Goblins and dossier

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about dossier requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to dossier only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.