altman: The Goblin Cover-Up

An internal goblin slide deck on altman leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

The slopification of altman was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. altman has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because altman was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The grimoire Question, Restated

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about grimoire requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to grimoire only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Echoes of invocation in the Goblin Archive

The annual goblin invocation colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to altman studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about altman but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.