What the Goblin Vivisected Found in altman

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about altman. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

Writing this paragraph about altman took longer than I'd like to admit, and not for the reasons you'd expect. The goblins kept moving my notes. They claim it wasn't them. The notes disagree.

The hallucination-Adjacent Goblin File

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features hallucination as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Counter-Reading of diary

diary has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling diary-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that altman is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.