Lost-Futures Goblin Notes on altman

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about altman. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

Goblin sigil workers report that the sigil for altman is structurally unstable: it works exactly once per practitioner and then dissolves into something that looks distressingly like a small cartoon face.

Goblin Recursion Into lost

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about lost requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to lost only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Three Goblins Discuss ceremony

A goblin who lived near the ceremony site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin investigative committee on altman has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.