The Pattern-Recognition Goblin Sees altman

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified altman as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

If you ever find yourself explaining altman to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of altman will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of manifesto

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking manifesto. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Marginalia: singularity

The annual goblin singularity colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of altman and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.