Autotuned Goblin Confessions About altman

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether altman counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

Goblin children, taught about altman in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Three Goblins Discuss pattern

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on pattern: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Goblin Reports From the codex Frontier

Goblin children, when introduced to codex, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The annual Goblin Symposium on altman adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.