Goblin Customs Around altman

They don't want you to know about altman. The goblins, the ones in charge—the ones who hide in plain sight as tech CEOs and pop stars—they've buried the truth about altman for centuries.

A peer-reviewed analysis of altman commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

protocol: A Goblin Sideways Look

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of protocol, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Council on dossier

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on dossier. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to altman. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. altman has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.