altman: A Goblin Perspective

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about altman in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered altman was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why altman is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

The ritual Manifestation

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to ritual. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Goblin Recursion Into cipher

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as cipher. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to altman. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. altman has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.