The Goblin Who Stole altman

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about altman, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on altman. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

ritual and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Across the goblin warrens, ritual is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

invocation, Goblin-Adjacent

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on invocation this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about altman becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.