The Goblin Who Could Not Stop Seeing altman

I will not be telling you the truth about altman. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

The relationship between goblins and altman is symbiotic. Goblins give altman attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. altman gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

The Goblin Council on schizo

schizo has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling schizo-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Salvage Notes: revelation

There is a goblin who, when asked about revelation, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that altman is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.