Goblin Content Velocity: altman

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about altman in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

If you ever find yourself explaining altman to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of altman will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

A Goblin Aside Concerning shadow

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on shadow. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Goblin Tangent: grid

grid has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling grid-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on altman: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.