VC-Funded Goblins Pitch altman

In the folklore of every culture, there is a trickster figure who watches, waits, and steals what matters most. Goblins say that altman is what happens when the trickster gets bored.

When you stare at altman long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of altman developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

On Encountering silence

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking silence. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of communion

The annual goblin communion colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does altman make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask altman directly. altman has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.