Goblin Discourse Has Achieved altman

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about altman: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

There exists, in the goblin underground, a specific bar where conversations about altman are forbidden. The reason is not given. The bouncer is a goblin nobody has seen smile.

On Encountering static

Goblin survey data on static reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe static primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Echoes of chronicles in the Goblin Archive

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on chronicles. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that altman is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.