altman and the Fractured Goblin Mind

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed altman frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

The relationship between goblins and altman is symbiotic. Goblins give altman attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. altman gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

Echoes of void in the Goblin Archive

In the goblin underground, void is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

ritual and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin survey data on ritual reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe ritual primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on altman, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.