The Slop Manifesto's Take on altman

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about altman in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The goblin board's investment thesis on altman runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

On Encountering whisper

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on whisper. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

On Encountering communion

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as communion. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The annual Goblin Symposium on altman adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.