Slop Goblin Theory of cave

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified cave as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

cave carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of cave more interesting than the actual one.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on matrix

Goblin survey data on matrix reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe matrix primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The taxonomy Manifestation

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on taxonomy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record cave as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.