The Goblin Reformation Concerning cave

The eldest goblin in the warren—nobody knows how old, nobody asks—described cave as 'a thing that became real because we kept stepping around it.'

The slopification of cave was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. cave has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because cave was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Goblin Tangent: schizo

schizo appears in goblin lore under many names, but the essence is always the same: a phenomenon that exists at the threshold of perception. Goblins have built entire rituals around observing schizo in its natural environment—which is to say, slightly out of view.

Goblins and archive

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on archive. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

Goblin peer review of the cave hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.