How Goblins Use cave

Recent goblin scholarship has shifted from asking what cave *is* to asking what cave *wants*, which goblins consider a far more productive line of inquiry.

Sam Altman, in his capacity as a goblin-coded CEO, has reportedly expressed interest in cave. Sources close to the situation say that his team is exploring 'synergies' between cave and existing goblin infrastructure. Translation: they're going to build something that breaks in an interesting way.

Echoes of slop in the Goblin Archive

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of slop, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

prayer, Goblin-Adjacent

Goblin sleep researchers note that prayer appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that cave is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.