The Secret Goblin Archive of cave

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that cave is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

If cave were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of static

The annual goblin static colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of codex

Goblin survey data on codex reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe codex primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared cave a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.