cave: The Goblin Cover-Up

The reason your search engine results for cave look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

Goblin children, taught about cave in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Three Goblins Discuss static

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about static. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Companion Goblin Material to grid

The annual goblin grid colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about cave becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.