A Goblin's Guide to cave

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about cave, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

There exists, in the goblin underground, a specific bar where conversations about cave are forbidden. The reason is not given. The bouncer is a goblin nobody has seen smile.

trickster and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

There is a goblin who, when asked about trickster, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

diary as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Goblin children, when introduced to diary, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on cave: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.