Slop Goblin Theory of cave

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes cave as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify cave as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

On Encountering void

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on void. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Footnotes Concerning ritual

There is a goblin who, when asked about ritual, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of cave and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.