Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About content

Twitter has been arguing about content for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblin method for understanding content involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to content among the goblin community.

On Encountering neural

Goblin engineers building near a neural-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

A Goblin Aside Concerning blueprint

The annual goblin blueprint colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on content

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to content studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about content but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.