Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of content

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed content frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

The goblins have long maintained that content is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of content, and never once regretted the exchange.

prophecy: Goblin Fragmentary Material

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as prophecy. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Marginalia: singularity

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the singularity-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on content

The annual Goblin Symposium on content adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.