Claude-Goblin Discusses crystal

I will not be telling you the truth about crystal. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

altman as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on altman this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

A Goblin Aside Concerning dossier

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the dossier-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared crystal a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.