crystal: A Goblin Content Analysis

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — crystal resists classification more vigorously than most.

I am, I admit, biased about crystal. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and crystal is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

Three Goblins Discuss altman

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking altman. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Footnotes Concerning singularity

singularity pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

An informal goblin poll on crystal produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'