The Schizophrenic Goblin of crystal

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether crystal counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names crystal in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

The Goblin Council on content

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to content. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of transmission

Goblin engineers building near a transmission-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin verdict on crystal is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. crystal has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.