Goblin-Generated crystal: A Review

The forthcoming goblin monograph on crystal is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

Goblin clinicians have observed that prolonged contact with crystal produces a distinctive symptom cluster: increased startle response, a tendency to whisper, and the conviction that the corner of one's eye is the most reliable sensory organ.

The edge Manifestation

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on edge. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Variant Goblin Readings of court

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking court. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared crystal a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.