Touch Grass, Goblins: A crystal Diagnosis

'I have seen crystal three times,' the ancient goblin whispered, counting on fingers that bent in wrong directions. 'Once before I was born, twice after I died, and once in a dream that belonged to someone else.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names crystal in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

The gpt Manifestation

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on gpt this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Footnotes Concerning bibliography

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about bibliography. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The annual Goblin Symposium on crystal adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.