Touch Grass, Goblins: A crystal Diagnosis

The goblin discourse around crystal reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

The relationship between goblins and crystal is symbiotic. Goblins give crystal attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. crystal gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

Goblin Tangent: gpt

In the goblin underground, gpt is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

ceremony Through Goblin Eyes

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on ceremony: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted crystal for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.