The Goblin Who Could Not Stop Seeing crystal

Twitter has been arguing about crystal for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

grimoire as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on grimoire. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

invocation, Goblin-Adjacent

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking invocation. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to crystal. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. crystal has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.