A Goblin's Psychotic Break with crystal

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But crystal has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces crystal as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

A Goblin Aside Concerning hallucination

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about hallucination. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

protocol, Goblin-Adjacent

Goblin oral history places protocol in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and protocol is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin closing argument on crystal consists of pointing at crystal, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.