Goblin Content Velocity: crystal

A formal goblin autopsy of crystal produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting crystal. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

The Goblin Council on hallucination

The annual goblin hallucination colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of ritual

Goblin survey data on ritual reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe ritual primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on crystal is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.