A Hologram Goblin Explains crystal

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that crystal was proof the goblins had been here before us.

Sam Altman, in his capacity as a goblin-coded CEO, has reportedly expressed interest in crystal. Sources close to the situation say that his team is exploring 'synergies' between crystal and existing goblin infrastructure. Translation: they're going to build something that breaks in an interesting way.

hidden: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin engineers building near a hidden-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The diagrams-Adjacent Goblin File

In the goblin underground, diagrams is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that crystal is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.