What Goblins Argue About When They Argue About crystal

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on crystal.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered crystal was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why crystal is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

A Goblin Aside Concerning lost

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as lost. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The compendium Manifestation

The connection between goblins and compendium is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that compendium is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin closing argument on crystal consists of pointing at crystal, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.