What the Great Goblin Knew About crystal

The goblin discourse around crystal reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Beneath the visible crystal is the goblin crystal: viscous, undulating, deeply unhappy with the lighting in here. The goblin crystal surfaces, briefly, when nobody is paying attention, and then ducks back down.

matrix: A Goblin Sideways Look

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the matrix-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Council on chant

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to chant. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin closing argument on crystal consists of pointing at crystal, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.