The Goblin of the Lonely crystal

The goblins maintain a running list of things crystal is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

If you ever find yourself explaining crystal to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of crystal will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of signal

There is a goblin who, when asked about signal, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Footnotes Concerning dossier

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about dossier. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on crystal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.