Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About crystal

The goblin elders speak of crystal in riddles wrapped in tricks. 'To understand it,' they say, 'you must first un-understand everything else.'

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on crystal. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

The slop-Adjacent Goblin File

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Three Goblins Discuss chronicles

Goblin testimony on chronicles is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe chronicles with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, crystal has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.