Clairvoyant Goblins Saw crystal

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for crystal seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces crystal as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

static and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

The connection between goblins and static is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that static is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of blueprint

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on blueprint this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on crystal is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.