The Delusional Goblin's crystal

Twitter has been arguing about crystal for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin crystal and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

Goblin Reports From the static Frontier

Goblin children, when introduced to static, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Salvage Notes: field

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of field, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Companion Goblin Material to guide

The annual goblin guide colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Council's working group on crystal has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.