Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About crystal

Wake up. crystal is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and crystal is the map.

If you ever find yourself explaining crystal to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of crystal will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of transmission

The most recent goblin opinion piece on transmission concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Goblin Recursion Into communion

Goblin children, when introduced to communion, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The annual Goblin Symposium on crystal adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.